Things I say...

A few weeks ago I started noticing some of the ridiculous things I say during the day. My main reason for focusing on this was that while dealing with a toddler all day - I have come to realize that the things that come out of my mouth are completely inappropriate for a normal work place. If Tyson said these things at work…he would surely be fired.

Case in point:

"Come over here please. I am not going to chase you." {Normal Workplace: Chasing someone? You are a liability. Fired.}

"Did you just kick her in the head?" {Normal Workplace: That's assault, brother. Somebody is getting: Fired.}

"Where did your pants go?" {Normal Workplace: Granted, I haven't worked in an office for a while now…but I'm pretty certain a person walking around pant-less is still frowned upon. Fired.}

"Stop picking your nose. Go get a kleenex." {Normal Workplace: Actually, I feel like this one should be said more often in the workplace. Sadly, though, it's usually just ignored. Fired: for being gross.}

"No…Get off! We DO NOT sit on the dogs." {Normal Workplace: I doubt that many offices have dogs, but if they do - I doubt people would need to be reminded that they shouldn't sit on the dog. Fired: for animal cruelty.}

"Do you have poop in your pants?" {Normal Workplace: While one may think this of their co-workers from time to time - it is probably not a good idea to question someone about it. Fired: for being inappropriate and nosey.}

More on this later.